Maybe you should go on a date?

Are your three strongest competencies right on the tip of your tongue? Can you without hesitation tell what you bring to your workplace? If you need to flip that thought a few times, then it may be, now is the time to go on a date. Not to find a new partner. To become clear on your competencies. What you are good at! You need to meet people who can see you from the outside and help you put words on your competencies from within.


Before you go on a date, prepare yourself. How do you see yourself? The goal here is not to find a number of competencies that are absolute for all eternity. When we look for competencies, it is a picture of how and with what we work now. That picture can change depending on your job and the tasks you handle. Constantly, you will get more experiences.


Knowing our competencies and strengths is an advantage when we enter a collaboration, when we are looking for new projects, areas of responsibility or jobs. When we know our strengths and energy, we can also better find the people who have the skills which complement our skills. We gain greater insight into ourselves and others.


Your look at you

Look at yourself first. When you need to describe what your three strongest competencies are right now, then begin here. You must describe what you experience, what you do and what competencies you bring into play in a given situation. The way you look at yourself is here from the inside out. The exercise looks like this:


S – situation: What was the situation? Describe very briefly.

T – task: What was the task or challenge?

A – action: What did you do?

R – result: What was the result? Which result did you create?

C – competency: What competencies did you use?


But the doubt may still be present; Is there more or something else you do? Then it is time to go on a date.


See yourself through others

Finding your competencies is not detached from the people you are surrounded by. As we saw in the exercise above, we bring them into play with others. In situations that have an effect on our surroundings. Clarification of competencies is not an exercise in navel-gazing.


Others cannot decide who you are. They can help you get to where you can find your skills. It can be your strengths and the energy you bring with you that go across individual situations. They can give you a look at you from the outside, where you can gain completely new insights into your competencies.


Then go on a date

If you are not used to going on a date i.e., using your network, then you can begin in a more comfortable zone. Talk to your current colleagues or find former colleagues on e.g. LinkedIn. Do you have the courage for more? Then ask your network for a good person from their network whom you could benefit from meeting and vice versa. There can be benefits to be gained in both conversations – both from those who know you and from those who get a first-hand impression.

Tell honestly and openly about what you would like input on. This way, your conversation partner knows what to listen for.

You can talk about what gives you energy at work. You can use the above STARC model to describe situations and tasks that you are involved in. However, here you need to take the C away. That letter must be filled in by your partner.


Accept what is coming. Write it down. Use everything you can. It is a help to name your competencies and put into words what you bring along to the job, the team etc.


Want to know more?

Do you want to learn more and find your competencies, then you can read more here: Coaching, Executive coaching or Personality and competencies test. You may also contact me to learn more.

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